The Werewolf With the Aura of Distinct Dottiness
by Pickledishkiller
Summary: What if Remus Lupin actually had bitten one of the students during that last night in POA when he escaped? What if that student was Luna Lovegood?
1. The Smock on the Ceiling

**The Werewolf With the Aura of Distinct Dottiness**

Well, I have been kinda bored and well… This promises to be interesting. I didn't feel like writing right now exactly, but I have more written if anybody reviews asking ) (hint hint, I have nothing better to do… Please?) I had no title ideas, and I don't think this plot has ever been used before. I am hoping that my Luna isn't "Mary-Sue" but then I have never read a female character who wasn't called Mary Sue at least once so yeah. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the madness- I try so hard. Much love to anybody who reviews!

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or really anything. I suppose that I own the storyline in this, but it's based off of work by J.K. Rowling. That should be obvious, I am on fanfiction you idiot. Otherwise I would be working on… Um, I don't know, the sixth book? Who checks these disclaimers, anyway!_

It was near the end of my second year. It was past curfew, but I was out of bed. Well, I was in bed, but it wasn't my bed. Come to think of it, it was, because I got to sleep in it that night in the hospital wing. I didn't live in the hospital wing- I lived in the Ravenclaw House dorms on most nights, but Draco Malfoy had cursed me during charms that day, causing me to grow an extra arm. It was splendid, really. I could carry my bag, write, and draw my picture of a Crumple Horned Snorkack all at once. But Professor Flitwick seemed to think that only negative results would come of having one arm too many, so he sent me off to the hospital wing. Funny man, Flitwick. He reminds me of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. It's my favorite muggle movie. I once asked Professor Flitwick if he had seen it, but he told me not to ask silly questions. What was I telling you about? Oh, 'The Incident'. Right. I was in the hospital wing, counting the cracks on the ceiling. There are quite a lot of them. One would think that Madame Pomfrey would fix them, but she must be busy. I always saw her as one to lead a double life. I can just imagine it: POPPY POMFREY GOING SOLO IN 'THE WEIRD SISTERS GONE WITCHIN'!

She must be quite an asset to the band. So, she spends so much time treating patients, or writing rhythmic lyric, that she must not find a good opportunity to repair the ceiling. The cracks give it character, and I think they spell out the word _smock_ if you analyze them very carefully, which was what I was doing not wanting to sleep. I was trying to ponder who the word smock was directed at, and whether it was to me or not, and what message it carried, until Harry Potter, and the two Gryffindors he spent his time with were brought in. They looked "a great deal worse than a poffot when provoked" as Da once said. I had never actually spoken to either of the three of them, being a year lower and in a different house, but I knew who Harry was. He's the Boy Who Lived; he saved the world! It's quite amazing actually.

He didn't look too amazing right then though. All three of them were unconscious, Harry and the girl were white as ghosts, and the redheaded fellow was scratched up. I didn't say anything, but kept still. Whatever was happening wasn't any of my business, after all. But I could hear what was said nonetheless. Professor Snape had brought them in, looking quite smug for some reason. Queer man. Last week in Potions, he told me that the tooth of Cornelius Fudge would not do anything whatsoever to improve a potion. But it would, I tried, and the Potion turned green. At least, the label said it was the tooth of Cornelius Fudge, but I do wonder where the salesman got it… Oh well, the world of business is just one puzzle followed by a maze. Back to Snape.

He's sort of a mean fellow, but I suppose that's because he was badly traumatized by a hippogriff in early childhood. I found this out one day when he (Snape) was substituting for Professor Lupin (who is a swell teacher, even though he gets sick all the time. His sickness is- no doubt- a secret allergy to the moon. No, really. His boggart was the moon, and I realized when doing the essay that Snape assigned us about werewolves, that Lupin is always sick on the full moon. Therefore, the only possible conclusions can be that A) Lupin suffers an illness which causes lunar phobia on the nights when the moon is most prominent, or B) he is utterly terrified of werewolves and resorts to hiding to deal with it. I asked him about it once; I'll go into that later. Once again returning to the study of Snape…) and I asked him why he hated werewolves so much, he did seem sort of biased. He said that he had a bad experience with a dark creature when he was young, and as though to top that off, Malfoy, the Slytherin boy, started moaning about how Hagrid's hippogriff had maimed him. Hagrid is a strange man, he can't teach competently, but whatever. Snape had smiled malevolently at Malfoy's remark, which points to hippogriff trauma.

I was lying there on the bed, which was mine for one and one night only, and Snape was tottering around as pompous as a giant rooster, while Madame Pomfrey was stressing over the state of the students. I soon figured out what had happened, mostly, for _the_ Cornelius Fudge came in. I could talk for hours about the scandals involving man, the least of which being his foul treatment of goblins, and his kinship with Sirius Black, which few know about- but I'll attempt not to interrupt this most loverly tale of mine any more than I already have done.

None of them noticed me, and I attracted no attention to myself, because I was irrelevant in whatever issue they were dealing with. They spoke quietly, in hushed voices for a minute, before realizing that nobody was listening- except yours truly, but they thought I was asleep or something- and raised their voices to a normalish volume.

"Shocking business… shocking… miracle none of them died… never heard the like… by thunder, it was lucky you were there Snape!" Fudge said. I began to brainstorm… Professor Snape must have saved the other three patients from something… Or saved Fudge's political face, considering he ought to have lost any good standing with anybody at this point, the way he persists in treating goblins.

"Thank you, Minister." Snape said in a kiss-uppy tone. If I hadn't wanted to know what was going on with these wonderfully intriguing people, I would have warned Professor Snape about how Fudge has secretly been aiding Sirius Black to rob goblins' homes, but I remained silent, as to gather what was going on with the Minister of Magic.

"Order of Merlin, Second Class, I'd say. First Class if I can wrangle it!" _Hum_, I thought. _Now the double-faced politician resorts to bribery to gain supporters in his cruel game of government injustice!_

"Thank you very much indeed, Minister." Poor Professor Snape, maybe this would make up for the hippogriff issue.

"Nasty cut you've got there… Black's work, I suppose?" Inquired Fudge pityingly. Woah, _Black _was involved? _Sirius Black_! Pricked my ears, shocked that they were admitting their association with the criminal in plain hearing!

Snape cast a sneering glare at the other beds. "As a matter of fact, it was Potter, Weasley, and Granger, Minister…" I took a double take. The three Gryffindors remained unconscious, but I thought I saw Harry twitch. _They_ attacked a Professor? Well, Snape had it coming, who knows what he and Black were plotting?

"_No_!"

"Black had bewitched them, I saw it immediately. A Confundus Charm, to judge by their behavior. They seemed to think there was a possibility that he was innocent. They weren't responsible for their actions. On the other hand, their interference might have permitted Black to escape… They obviously thought they were going to catch Black single-handed. They've got a way with a great deal before now… I'm afraid it's given them a rather high opinion of themselves… and of course Potter has always been allowed an extraordinary amount of license by the headmaster-"

I was putting it together now… They had seen Black… he had cursed the others… who had cursed Snape (not that I see anything wrong with that. After he took 5 points from Ravenclaw, just because I asked a question, I seriously considered siccing a giant on him. The giant wouldn't mind, studies show that if you feed them quality spam, they'll do anything you ask.) who had saved them somehow…?

"Ah, well, Snape… Harry Potter you know… we've all got a bit of a blind spot where he's concerned." Fudge amended. Well of course we all had a blind spot! I suppose that Mr. "I'm going to be a biased git" of Magic had neglected to realize that had the aforementioned Harry Potter was prolly the key reason we were still living. Though he did get in trouble a lot, so do Fred and George Weasley, and Snape doesn't whine about them at the drop of hat.

"And yet-", the poor traumatized fellow just needs something to take his anger out on. Other than Harry. He needs a life… I wonder if he reads the _Quibbler_… "…- is it good for him to be given so much special treatment? Personally, I try and treat him like any other student. And any other student would be suspended- at the very least- for leading his friends into such danger. Consider, Minister- against all school rules- after all the precautions put in place for his protection- out of bounds, at night, consorting with a werewolf and a murderer- and I have reason to believe he has been visiting Hogsmeade illegally too-"

_What the bloody deuce?_ I thought. My mind was reeling like a muggle cassette. _Who_ is a werewolf? Obviously not Snape or Fudge… the murderer they spoke of had to be Sirius Black… But a werewolf? Who, who, who! For a split second I went through every possibility. I was stuck between Professor Dumbledore, Professor Lupin, Ron Weasley… But they wouldn't talk about Dumbledore like that in his own school… Great man, Dumbledore. I could speak pro-Dumbledore for hours. He's a great man, well, except for the fact that he steals about one Galleon per month from the lower vaults at Gringotts- he was seen doing this by a man called Stubby Boardman, I think, and Da did an article on it in _The_ _Quibbler_. But continuing… Harry visited Hogsmeade illegally? Then how could he get past the dementors? Maybe _he_ is secretly part dementor…

"Well, well… we shall see, Snape, we shall see… The boy has undoubtedly been foolish…" Fudge interjected. "What amazes me most is the behavior of the dementors… you've really no idea what made them retreat, Snape?"

What did the dementors do? I repressed a shudder. Mum always said that dementors ate souls with every meal, and would only cease to do so if you managed to hug one without going stark raving mad, but Da insists that they fear clowns. Clowns make me cry. They look so sad, with the pale faces and red noses. And people laugh at them. I don't see why. Clowns are just regular witches and wizards who accidentally curse themselves to entertain us. Nothing too funny about that. Course, if that's what they like doing… Maybe I will one day…

"No, Minister," Snape answered. "… By the time I had come 'round they were heading back to their positions at the entrances…"

"Extraordinary. And yet Black, Harry, and the girl-" Fudge was interrupted by Snape's prompt reply. "All unconscious by the time I reached them. I bound and gagged Black, naturally, conjured stretchers, and brought them all straight back to the castle."

I noticed Harry moving slightly on his bed. Nobody else noticed though, but with the lives they lead one can't properly blame them. Madame Pomfrey reentered the room, and Fudge and Snape retreated to continue talking just beyond the hospital wing door. The girl- Granger, Snape had said- began to move as well. Madame Pomfrey hurried past my bed, taking no notice that I was there, and giving them huge pieces of chocolate. Chocolate is one of the best things ever; I always loved it. At any rate, she gave them the chocolate.

"Ah, you're awake!" she declared. Stating the obvious really. I was awake too, but then I wasn't the Boy Who Lived, unfortunately. I was just a girl currently living. "How's Ron?" Harry and Granger asked.

"He'll live. As for you two… You'll be staying here until I'm satisfied you're- Potter, what do you think you're doing?" Harry was pulling his glasses on and sitting up.

"I need to see the headmaster." They had always called Harry Potter strange you know. Much like all Quidditch players are. I sort of began dozing then. Interesting as this was, I could hear distant howls being carried through the window. It was quite pretty sounding, though sad if you know what I mean. A word clicked in my mind. _Werewolf_. I could see the full moon hanging over the Forbidden Forest. Perhaps a werewolf was making those howls… I gazed transfixed out the window, my soul wrapped up in the animal's glorious sonata.

The sound slowly faded into the distance, and I began to pay attention to the ruckus next to me. Fudge and Snape had returned, and everybody in the room but me was yelling. Harry and Hermione were insisting that Sirius Black was innocent, that Peter Pettigrew, the man he murdered had killed all the muggles and all. Oh, and that Pettigrew was a rat Animagus, and such. Fudge and Snape were out shouting Madame Pomfrey's demands that they let the students rest, as they declared Granger and Harry insane. In the midst of the commotion, Professor Dumbledore made his entrance.

Harry and Hermione turned their attention to him. "Professor Dumbledore, Sirius Black-"

"For heaven's sake!" Madame Pomfrey shrieked frantically. "Is this a hospital wing or not?" I considered this. I had settled on the decision that this was indeed, a rock concert more than anything else, because we had the screaming spectators, Madame Pomfrey, and live entertainment, as the aforementioned Madame Pomfrey continued, "Headmaster, I must insist-"

"My apologies, Poppy, but I need a word with Mr. Potter and Miss Granger. I have just been talking to Sirius Black-"

Snape rudely interrupted him. "I suppose he's told you the same fairy tale he's planted in Potter's mind? Something about a rat, and Pettigrew being alive-"

"That, indeed, is Black's story," Dumbledore concurred. Now, I could continue to go through this conversation with a comb and paint each and every little detail for you, but I'm sorry to say that I can't at present. My memory can only stretch to such lengths, and as I wasn't what you would call involved with this conversation, just a spectator. But from there, Snape started to complain that they were ignoring his eyewitness account, and that the kids were insane, that stuff, and Dumbledore asked to speak with them alone. Well, he wouldn't have been alone; nobody really seemed to notice my presence, not that I minded or anything. I was interested only in watching at that point. It was a lot like a wonderful play that required no tickets. Anyway, noticing me would have affected the life-changing event, yet to come for me, but which was speeding my way with every passing second.

Dumbledore was finding it difficult to make them all leave. Snape kept trying to tell Dumbledore that Black's story was just blather, and that Black had tried to kill him at 16, which made my thoughts run wild. After several moments, Madame Pomfrey, Fudge, and Professor Snape all retreated from the scene. The moment they were gone, Harry and Hermione burst into explanations.

"Professor, Black's telling the truth- we _saw_ Pettigrew-"

"-he escaped when Professor Lupin turned into a werewolf-"

This phrase is sort of framed in my memory. So Lupin was the werewolf. I had spoken to him once, rather suspicious about it. I needn't have done so, I knew, but I had puzzled the facts together, and I just wondered if he had an alternate explanation. It was shortly after I had written the essay about werewolves that Snape seemed to have assigned to every class. I had noticed that his boggart was the full moon. It was seemingly also obvious to me that Professor Lupin was always gone during the full moon. I noticed that even before the essay. My name was Luna, so I always felt like the moon and I shared a special bond, because she talks to everybody sometimes, and me especially because I was named after her. The essay just put things into a new light for me. And here I had always thought he was afraid of werewolves, or the moon or something. Myself… I didn't get to face the boggart when he showed one to us. I wasn't really sure what shape it would take. I wasn't scared of very many things. Probably a heliopath, I had guessed. But back to the point, I had never really thought that he was a werewolf, no matter what all the signs indicated. He seemed to… Professory… to be a werewolf. So I was sort of surprised.

I could have sat upon that bed and pondered the sad fate of Professor Lupin for hours on end, but there was still a wonderfully fascinating drama unfolding besides me. Professor Dumbledore had decided to silence Hermione and Harry.

"It is your turn to listen, and I beg you not to interrupt me because there is very little time. There is not a shred of proof to support Black's story, except your word- and the word of two thirteen-year-old wizards will not convince anybody. A street full of eyewitnesses swore they saw Sirius murder Pettigrew. I myself gave evidence to the Ministry that Sirius had been the Potter's Secret-Keeper."

My mind was whirling, for once I sort of felt important. I was witnessing something, which, if _The Quibbler_ decided to publish it, would result in being sold out. I was completely irrelevant to whatever was going on, but I was there nonetheless.

"Professor Lupin can tell you-" Harry tried to say, but Dumbledore interrupted him sadly.

"Professor Lupin is currently deep in the forest, unable to tell anyone anything. By the time he is human again it will be too late, Sirius will be worse than dead. I might add that werewolves are so mistrusted by most of our kind that his support will count for very little- and the fact that he and Sirius are old friends-"

My mind struggled to absorb this quickly. That explained the howling. A wave of horrified, angry compassion rose up in me. Professor Lupin was a good person. Just because he was a werewolf, the Ministry of Magic didn't trust this man? It wasn't above them. If people will cook goblins in pies and force elves to train an army of deranged heliopaths- then well, I bet they wouldn't stop at denying werewolves rights. Part of me was boiling with fury- I wasn't positive why. I wasn't close to Professor Lupin or anything, and none of this was truly meant for me to hear. But I felt empathy for anybody who was treated wrongly, and trying to imagine somebody who _wouldn't_ trust Lupin, just because of _lycanthropy_…

"But-" Harry protested.

"_Listen to me, Harry._ It is too late, you understand me? You must see that professor Snape's version of events is far more convincing than yours." Harry and Hermione looked desperate, as though they couldn't believe that our Headmaster was uttering these words of defeat.

"He hates Sirius, all because of some stupid trick Sirius played on him-" Hermione was frantic now, pleading almost.

"Sirius has not acted like an innocent man. The attack on the fat lady- entering Gryffindor Tower with a knife- without Pettigrew, alive or dead, we have no chance of overturning Sirius's sentence." I shuddered, dementors with their soul sucking. It suddenly occurred to me that _they_ were what I would see if I faced a boggart. That revelation may not be important to the story, but it was important to me. There comes a lot of… I don't know, self-understanding, if you know what your greatest fear is. I never understood myself, nor did anybody else but Mum really.

"_But you believe us._"

"Yes, I do. But I have no power to make other men see the truth, or to overrule the Minister of Magic…" By this point, I had joined Harry in Hermione in shock. Our Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, who has his own Chocolate Frog cards- giving up? Well, I supposed if Gilderoy Lockhart could elope with Madame Marchbanks to a quite cabin in Canada, than our Headmaster could let the soul of a supposedly innocent man be sucked away.

"What we need," He said, staring at Hermione. "Is more _time_."

Hermione looked confused for a minute, "But-" she gaped. "OH!"

"Now, pay attention," Dumbledore said quietly. "Sirius is locked in Professor Flitwick's office on the seventh floor. Thirteenth window from the right of the West Tower. If all goes well, you will be able to save more than one innocent life tonight. But remember this, both of you: _you must not be seen_. Miss Granger, you know the law- you know what is at stake…. _You-must-not-be-seen_. I am going to lock you in. It is five minutes to midnight. Miss Granger, three turns should do it. Good luck."

Dumbledore delivered this peculiar, but somehow familiar, message, and walked out of the door.

"Good luck?" Harry repeated. He was as confused as I was. "Three turns? What's he talking about? What are we supposed to do?"

Hermione was pulling something from the neck of her robes. "Harry, come here, _quick_." I saw the hourglass on the chain and I felt a horrified rush. It was a Time-Turner. Memories flooded my mind. Mum, telling me to sit down and watch while she created a Time-Turner that could take you back to the Stone Age. That was the last time I ever saw her.

"Here," Hermione was saying, throwing the chain around his neck. "Ready?"

"What are we doing?" Harry asked. I couldn't let them do this. I couldn't watch them die… Not like Mum. I sat up and leapt off of the bed, grabbing Harry's arm.

"Don't…. Mum… Time-Turner…." I tried to explain, but it was too late, she was turning it, and I felt a sickening lurch. It was quite like a muggle amusement ride, only real. I was being pulled back in time along _with_ them. "Puffskein Dung." I grumbled, trying to ignore my panic. We hadn't died yet. But apparently I was going to get to see what all the shouting had been about. Well, adventures build character.


	2. TOTWIGWBIT3HTASOEL

**_I'mmmm baaackkkk! Yes, I sense your joy at my return. Blasphemy. Well, this is sort of a fill in chapter, the action of all actions will start next chapter... Remember how much I love MuggleBuddy, who is so far my sole reviewer and inspiration for updating. So be dearies and review, it only takes a moment... Please? begging_**

_Disclaimer: JKR and publishers and all those people own Harry Potter and all his people. I own a shoe, my thoughts, and nothing more. And I don't own my thoughts, my invisible friends do, but I'll let you read now..._

**That One Time When I Got Warped Back Three Hours Into A Setting of Extreme Lunacy.**

SNAP! We were standing in the entrance hall. Sunlight was filtering down through the huge doors, onto our feet. I was sort of surprised. But this was better than the hospital wing. Hermione shot me the look of the devil, and pulled Harry and me into a broom closet.

"_WHO ARE YOU!_" She hissed. I stared her straight in the face, unblinking. "Luna Lovegood." I eyed the closet. "This is splendid."

"Hermione- Lovegood- what-?" Harry was really disoriented. Hermione wasn't through with me yet. "Why did you come?" she demanded, grabbing me by the shoulders.

I shrugged away from her. "Time-Turners. Me Mum died using one." That was all that Granger needed to know. She shook her head stressfully (if that's a word) and turned to Harry.

"We've gone back in time," she told him, still glaring at me. She pulled the Time-Turner off of Harry. "Three hours back…"

"But-" Harry tried to say, but Hermione basically told us to shut it. "Someone's coming! I think- I think it might be us! Footsteps across the hall… yes, I think it's us going to Hagrid's!"

"Are you telling me that we're here in this cupboard and we're out there too?" Harry asked. Hermione was still muttering, "Yes, I'm sure it's us. It doesn't sound like more than three people… and we're walking slowly because we're under the Invisibility Cloak- we've gone down the front steps…"

I turned to Harry. "We just went three hours back in time so that you can save the life of Sirius Black, I gathered." He seemed to acknowledge my presence now.

"Who the hell?"

I sighed. "My name is Luna Lovegood, I've been sitting in the hospital wing listening to everybody yell for a little bit now, and my Mum died using a Time-Turner and I was trying to help…" I decided to stop brooding on the fact that now, because of an unreasonable fear of Time-Turners, I had gotten sucked into their issues. I smiled, looking at the lovely brooms and mops. "These are nice." I began to stroke the nearest mop.

"Where did you get that?" Harry asked Hermione.

"It's a Time-Turner, like she said… I got it from Professor McGonagall on our first day back. I've been using it all year to get to all my lessons. Professor McGonagall made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone. She had to write all sorts of letters to the Ministry of Magic so I could have one. She had to tell them that I was a model student, and that I'd never, ever use it for anything except my studies… I've been turning it back so I could do hours over again, that's how I've been doing several lessons at once, see? But… Lovegood, what did you say Dumbledore wants us to do? I just don't understand how we can help him regardless…"

I snapped to attention, still cradling the lovely mop. "Well, from what I gathered, he _wants_ you to save Black. So you have to change something, like bust him out of Flitwick's office or something with a broomstick, I suppose, or change the course of whatever you were doing to land you in the hospital wing to begin with. Yes, that's probably it, otherwise you wouldn't have needed the full three hours, right?"

Hermione's eyes widened, it was Harry who spoke though. "Alright, we were walking down to Hagrid's three hours ago…"

"This _is_ three hours ago, and we _are_ walking down to Hagrid's… We just heard ourselves leaving."

"Why were you going to Hagrid's?" I asked.

"To see Buckbea…" Harry trailed off. I could almost see the little cogs in his head spinning at an alarming rate. "Dumbledore just said- just said we could save more than one innocent life… Hermione, we've got to save Buckbeak!"

"_God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs, with claws so long and sharp! God rest ye merry hippogriffs, with wings so long and strong, for it is for ye, hippogriffs, for ye, we sing this song!_" I sang under my breath. Harry and Hermione stared quizzically at me.

"Erm… right… But, how will saving Buckbeak help Sirius?"

"_God rest ye merry hippogriffs on this fine holiday, your wings and claws, strong and sharp, seem to want to saaaaay, God rest ye Merry Hippogriffs, for ye we sing this song, as you fly unto the sunset on a journey oh so looooong._" I turned to where Harry and Hermione were just staring at me like I was deranged or something. I studied Harry's eyes while I spoke. They were a bright, vivid green. Like a potion, or the color that comes out when the _Avada Kedavra _is cast- I saw a picture in a most lovely book. "It's such a nice song." I said fondly.

Harry stared at me for a moment, and then shook away from my gaze. "Okay… That song… I've got it! Dumbledore said- he just told us where the window is- the window of Flitwick's office! Where they've got Sirius locked up! We've got to fly Buckbeak up to the window and rescue Sirius! Sirius can escape on Buckbeak- they can escape together!"

Hermione's face was the picture of terror. "If we can manage that without being seen, it'll be a miracle!"

"Well, we've got to try, haven't we?" said Harry, pressing his ear to the door. I nodded, but I don't believe they really took notice.

"Doesn't sound like anyone's there… Come on, let's go…." Harry pushed open the door, and together we darted out of the closed and down the stone steps. The sun was slowly beginning to lower on this most beautiful evening.

"If anyone's looking out the window-" Hermione squeaked, looking at the castle behind us. "We'll run for it, straight into the forest, all right? We'll have to hide behind a tree or something and keep a lookout-"

"Okay, but we'll go around by the greenhouses! We need to keep out of sight of Hagrid's front door, or we'll see us! We must be nearly at Hagrid's by now." Hermione said. We followed her behind the greenhouses, around the Whomping Willow, until we reached 'safety' in the trees. "Right" Hermione gasped. "We need to sneak over to Hagrid's… Keep out of sight, Harry."

We crept around the edge of the forest. We saw the very front of Hagrid's house, just as we heard a knock on his door. We hurried behind a tree and peered out from the sides. It took all of my energy not to burst out laughing. This was by far, ludicrous beyond anything, every, but since my companions couldn't find the undeniable humor, I remained silent. Hagrid appeared in his doorway, shaking and pale (poor man, if he wasn't purely insane I'd feel even worse than I did for him). Next thing we knew, we could hear Harry's voice.

"It's us. We're wearing the Invisibility Cloak. Let us in and we can take it off." My head snapped to Harry, half expecting our Harry to be talking but he was silent, staring transfixed at the scene before us. I opened my mouth to speak, but Hermione Granger glared at me and whispered, "You- strange girl- be quiet." I nodded nonchalantly. _Funny she should call me strange when she has a Time-Turner and is sitting three hours ago trying to bust an innocent criminal out of a horrid punishment._ I was still glad I was able to stick with them though, if we got separated or lost, I didn't want to think about what could happen. All the more reason to be nice to these people.

The voices were still talking. "This is the weirdest thing we've ever done," said our Harry. "Let's move along a bit, we need to get nearer to Buckbeak."

We snuck about through the trees until we were right out side of Hagrid's pumpkin patch, with the huge hippogriff inside. "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pumpkins, a peck of pickled pumpkins Peter Piper picked- IF Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pumpkins, how many pickled pumpkins did Peter Piper pick?" I wondered. At the name 'Peter' both of them jumped. I was reminded of what I had over heard. "So will you tell me later what is going on?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, but be quiet…" Harry looked over the pumpkin patch. "Now?" Hermione shook her head. "If we do it now, then those Committee people will think that

Hagrid set him free! We have to wait until they've seen him tied outside."

"That's going to give us about sixty seconds," Harry said. I smiled vaguely. "That's a really long time you know." Suddenly we could hear breaking china inside the cabin. Hermione grimaced "That's Hagrid breaking the milk jug, I'm going to find Scabbers in a moment-" She was right about that, a minute later, we heard her shriek from inside. I tapped Hermione on the shoulder "You could be a singer you know. The ability to create that much volume with your voice is highly regarded in the arts, I suppose you're a soprano." She just shook her head. Harry, as he had been, ignored this exchange, "Hermione, what if we- just run in there and grab Pettigrew-"

"No," she whispered. "Don't you understand? We're breaking one of the most important wizarding laws! Nobody's supposed to change time, nobody! You heard Dumbledore, if we're seen-"

"We'd only be seen by ourselves and Hagrid!"

"Harry, what do you think you'd do if you saw yourself bursting into Hagrid's house?" Hermione demanded.

"I'd- I'd think I'd gone mad, or I'd think there was some Dark Magic going on-"

"_Exactly!_ You wouldn't understand, you might even attack yourself! Don't you see? Professor McGonagall told me what awful things have happened when wizards have meddled with time…. Loads of them have ended up killing their past or future selves by mistake!"

I froze. That wasn't exactly how my Mum had died- but it was close. "Don't do it Harry Potter." I said quietly. They both stared at me for a moment, but said nothing. Suddenly, our attention was recaptured by the past/present. Fudge, Dumbledore, and a bunch of official looking people, one of whom had an axe, were coming down the steps.

"We're about to come out," Hermione breathed. And she was right; we could see Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley trooping out of the house with Hagrid. Hagrid is such a strange fellow- a bit of a joke in Ravenclaw. He really isn't too bright, and apparently all the Care of Magical Creatures students had to spend the year feeding Flobberworms. In any case, he could have been teaching about how to care for Crumple Horned Snorkacks, or Gliding Gizzillions, but he doesn't even know what those are. He should, you know, being a teacher.

"It's okay, Beaky, it's okay…" Hagrid said to Buckbeak. Turning to the students beside him, he said, "Go on. Get goin'."

"Hagrid, we can't-"

"We'll tell them what really happened-"

"They can't kill him-"

"Go! It's bad enough without you lot in trouble an' all!" the past students threw the Invisibility Cloak over themselves and vanished. "Go quick. Don' listen…."

I turned to Harry and Hermione, who were both staring at the unfolding scene as though nothing ever was more interesting. "Peculiar man, Hagrid…" I commented cheerily, as a knock sounded from his front door.

"Animals shouldn't be executed. They're mostly smarter than people." I mused. "That's the executioner?" Hermione answered with a tight nod.

Inside, we could hear them jabbering about official junk- this was it. Harry looked sort of nervous, and being the Harry Potter, I knew he was going to volunteer to get Buckbeak.

"I'll do it." I said it before Harry could open his mouth. "You don't know him, or any hippogriff-"

"I know how to deal with any animal, Harry. Respect. Just hold on." I left them where they stood, staring at me, thinking I was a loon. I didn't care. I was going to help them, not hinder. I shot out of the trees and hopped over the fence.

The hippogriff stared angrily at me, with fierce orange eyes. I knew nothing about how to deal with any hippogriffs, so, I treated him how I wanted to be treated- so to speak. I dropped a curtsy, looking him earnestly in the eyes the whole time. To my surprise, he sank to his knees for a moment, and then stood up. Animals liked music- I could do that. I began to hum 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs' as I undid the complex knot. He began to sway with the tune. We didn't really have too much time.

"Mr. Buckbeak, will you do me a tremendous favor and follow me into the wood there? Oh, there's a good fellow!" He was such a pleasant hippogriff. He nodded, and commenced to follow me over to Harry and Hermione. He shot a longing glance back at the hut. "Shhh shhh Sir, we can't have you getting hurt, now can we? Professor Hagrid won't ever forgive us if you do." I took hold of the rope and into the trees, about ten feet away from where Harry and Hermione were. They rushed back to where we stood.

"Good job, Lovegood," Harry whispered. I smiled, and dreamily wondered what he might look like in 20 years. I decided he would resemble one of the muggle Beatles, and left it at that. The Committee people, Fudge, Hagrid, and Dumbledore had all come outside and were exclaiming over Buckbeak's disappearance. We could hear some talking, some cussing, a door closing, then silence.

"Well… now what?" Harry asked. Hermione looked rather nervous that we had come so close to being seen. Poor thing was dreadfully nervous. "We'll have to hide in here," she said. "We need to wait until they've gone back up to the castle. Then we wait here until it's safe to fly Buckbeak up to Sirius's window. He won't be there for another couple of hours… Oh, this is going to be difficult…"

She looked behind her; the sun was setting. "No," Harry said. "We're going to have to move. We've got to be able to see the Whomping Willow, or we won't know what's going on."

"Okay," said Hermione. "But we've got to keep out of sight, remember…."

We continued to creep about the edge of the forest, the sun setting and slowly throwing us into a shadowy setting. Buckbeak followed me, when I asked him to, and all four of us settled down behind some bushes near the Whomping Willow. We could see Harry, Hermione, and Ron and this huge black dog moving, but as interesting as it may have been, I was whispering to Buckbeak.

"Well I know that wizards are prejudiced but- Okay, okay, we have an agreement on that. What? Yes, he was my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher last year… No, I didn't think he was cute at all. Pompous little pixie, he was." At this point, Harry and Hermione stared at me. "Err…. Lovegood-"

"My name is Luna." I interrupted. "Right," said Harry. "Luna, why are you talking to the hippogriff?" I stared at him. Strange that somebody so heroic, so important, could be so dense.

"Why does anybody talk at all, Harry?" I asked. Harry raised an eyebrow. "But he doesn't talk back. He's an animal." Buckbeak pawed the ground snorted in a tone, which told me he was mortally offended. "Not that I mean to be rude," said Harry quickly.

"_You_ just spoke to him, you understand him too. All creatures have some form of intelligence, and all of us are equal. It's just stupid, prejudiced wizards who decide that something isn't smart or special."

"Err… All right." As Harry said this, Hermione turned. "In case you didn't notice, we have already gone into the Willow and Lupin is in the process of doing so, so be quiet for a moment." Harry and I both peeked over the top of the bush. Professor Lupin was holding a long branch and poking something near the base of the tree. He disappeared into it. I looked overhead and noticed that the moon was completely obscured by clouds.

"If he'd only grabbed the cloak, it's just lying there…" Harry said fervently. "If I just dashed out now and grabbed it, Snape'd never be able to get it and-"

"Harry, _we mustn't be seen_!"

"How can you stand this? Just standing here and watching it happen?" He paused momentarily. I began humming to a distant tune. "Harry-"

"Is that Hagrid singing?" I wondered.

"Yes," Hermione growled. "And Harry, if you had gone out there, he would have seen you! _And then what would have happened_?"

"Oh, we would probably get caught, then brought inside, and we would either not get back to the Hospital Wing in time, or somebody would see your doubles. And if we don't get back to the hospital wing then past versions of ourselves will keep popping up behind us. Hmm, or maybe not, because if we get back inside then we won't be able to have come back. And that means…." I volunteered conversationally, but Hermione stopped me there.

"I'd rather not think about it." Hermione growled. Beaky lurched forward, trying to get at Hagrid. I patted him on the back.

"No, Dearie, you don't want to go with the drunken giant to you? No, no," I cooed. "Just stay here with us."

"_What shall we do with the drunken sailor, what shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor, earlai in the mornin'?_" I sang softly.

Harry and Hermione stared at me mutely. I smiled. "Lovely song, don't you think?" Hermione gave a blank half nod, and Harry paused for a moment, suddenly seeing something over my shoulder. I turned. Professor Snape came sprinting out of the castle, towards the Willow. He skidded to a halt beside the tree, picking up a silvery cloak.

Harry muttered something darkly under his breath. "Shh!" Hermione hissed. Professor Snape picked up the same branch that Professor Lupin had used, and thus proceeded to freeze the tree. Very funny tree, I decided. Rather like Muggle electronics- you hit a button and they stop. Poor tree must've been going mad.

"So that's it, we're all down there… and now we've just got to wait until we're all back up again."

"What are you doing down there?" I asked, idly twisting the corner of the school robes I had been wearing. They turned to me.

"First," said Hermione. "You need to tell us why you came. This is none of your business Lovegood."

I smiled faintly. "Time-Turners scare me a bit. My mum died doing an experiment with one, and since then I've had a really inconvenient phobia of it."

"Err, I'm sorry," said Harry. I grinned. "Oh, no it's fine. But I didn't know I would end up here with you. But it's not turning out as bad as it could be." I looked at Hermione. "Oh, and please do call me Luna. It makes me feel connected to the moon up there."

The other two exchanged glances. "Being connected to the moon isn't always a good thing." Harry said after a moment.

"Are you talking about Professor Lupin?" I inquired. They both nodded. "How long were you listening?" Hermione asked suspiciously. I cast my eyes up at the clouds, hovering ominously above. "Since well before you woke up, I think." They sighed.

"So, have we got to fill you in on the details?" Harry asked. "Yes, please." I consented.

They did so. I could try to go into detail about precisely what the overly heroic Gryffindors described, but since you are reading this testament, I can only assume you already know. I felt so horrible for Professor Lupin when they reached the part concerning his lycanthropy.

"Well, when the werewolves and vampires have joined forces with the goblins to protest this gross injustice, Professor Lupin will be much better off." I said.

"I don't really get what you mean, but I can sort of agree." Harry said.

"It really is too bad that wizards are so prejudiced." Said Hermione. Then they continued on with there story. Sirius Black was innocent- he was an Animagus along with James Potter, Professor Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, who incidentally wasn't dead, he was Ronald's pet rat, and _he_, Pettigrew, had committed the heinous crimes. They told me of Snape's arrival, Buckbeak's trial, Pettigrew's sin, Lupin's transformation, and the dementors. Then they told me that they woke up in the Hospital Wing, not too sure how they had come to be there.

"How did you save yourselves from the dementors?"

Hermione looked at Harry curiously. He spoke slowly, thinking. "Well… I probably imagined it… I wasn't thinking straight… I passed out right afterwards…."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well…someone cast the Patronus Charm… and, uh…. I think… I think it was my dad."

A strange ringing sounded through my ears. I knew how Harry felt. I knew very well.

"I know it sounds crazy… but it really looked the was he did in photos."

"Maybe you saw his ghost?" Hermione volunteered.

"I don't think so… No… he looked solid." Harry looked as though he thought himself mad.

"Harry, your dad's-well- dead," Hermione said quietly.

"I know that," Harry said quickly.

"It could have been his spirit though. You know, somehow assuring that his son would be safe from harm," I suggested. They were silent for a few moments.

And for a while we just sat there. It didn't really matter then that Harry was "The Boy Who Lived", or that Hermione was a muggleborn genius, or that I was "Looney" Lovegood. We all just sat silently, left alone with our thoughts for a bit. Buckbeak had lain down next to me, and I absentmindedly stroked designs in his feathers, smiling slightly. I glanced up at the moon every few minutes. She danced in and out of sight, as though she knew that so much action on this night was because of her, and wished to rub it in slightly. After awhile Hermione suddenly jerked up.

"Here we come!" She whispered nervously.

We watched Professor Lupin, Ronald, and Peter Pettigrew traipsing out of the hole in the roots, then Hermione, then Snape, floating creepily, then Harry And Sirius Black.

"Harry," Hermione said abruptly. "We've got to stay put. We mustn't be seen. There's nothing we can do…."

"So we're just going to let Pettigrew escape all over again…."

"Mmm hmm." I said. Hermione nodded. "Luna's right Harry." She sounded as though it was hard for her to agree with my agreeing with her. "There's nothing we can do! We came back to help Sirius; we're not supposed to be doing anything else!"

"_All right_!" Harry said, glaring at us both.

The moon slid out from behind her cloud, giving us a cruel smile. It was time. The group across the ground all froze, and we could see movement.

"Poor Professor Lupin," I whispered sadly.

"We've got to move!" Harry yelped.

"We mustn't, I keep telling you-"

"Not to interfere! Lupin's going to run into the forest, right at us!"

Hermione gasped. I untied Buckbeak hurriedly. "Come along Beaky, be a dear…"

"Quick! Quick! Where are we going to go? Where are we going to hide? The dementors will be coming at any moment-"

"Let's go to Hagrid's, it's nearest." I said, wondering why that beautiful moon seemed to hate us all so.

We ran as fast as our feet could carry us, Buckbeak cantering along the rear. We could hear that poor werewolf howling behind us. We reached the cabin, and hurriedly rushed inside. Beaky let a croon of happiness at being back inside Hagrid's. His huge, repulsive dog gave a loud bar, and Hermione rushed to quiet him. "Shh, Fang, it's us!"

"That was really close!" She said to us.

"Yeah," Harry looked out the window, struggling to see what was happening.

"I think I'd better go outside again, you know," he said slowly. "I can't see what's going on- we won't know when it's time-"

Hermione looked up suspiciously.

"I'm not going to try and interfere, but if we don't see what's going on, how're we going to know when it's time to rescue Sirius."

"I'll go with him and keep an eye on him, Hermione," I said, anxious to get out into the air. "And I won't change _anything_. I remember Mum," I said, in a cheerfulish tone.

"Well… okay, then… I'll wait here with Buckbeak… but be careful- there's a werewolf out there- and the dementors- keep him out of trouble, Luna."

Harry and I edged around the cabin. We stared out over the lake, hearing yelping in the distance, watching the dementors. They came from everywhere, gliding along the edges of the lake to where past-Harry stood on the opposite bank. Suddenly, Harry ran closer to the lake. He wanted to see his father; I could feel it.

Across the lake we could see glimmers of silver- past Harry trying the Patronus. Present Harry threw himself behind a bush to watch, and I followed suit. The glimmers of silver suddenly extinguished- we were going to see this hero. But nobody was coming. And then I realized. But I could say nothing. But I knew, and the second I realized it Harry did as well- it wasn't his father, it was Harry.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!_" he yelled. A huge, bright silver animal burst from the end of his want. It was a stag. It galloped away, silently charging at the dementors. And they fled silently, until they were gone. Then the creature turned. It returned to Harry and stared at him, bowing it's antlered head.

"_Prongs_," Harry whispered. I was quite interested in this. Prongs had been his father, they had told me. So this was the spirit of James Potter. Not a ghost, not a nameless spirit- a Patronus. We heard hooves behind us- Hermione was dragging Buckbeak, and boy did she look furious.


	3. I Can't Sing a Good Soprano

_Well, this chapter isn't as long as the other 2, but it's heaps more important- you'll see. I have trouble with Luna's character sometimes, but I try, LOL. MuggleBuddy, Eizoku, I love you both!_

_Disclaimer: What do I own what do I own, do I own Harry? No, you old crone... NO I DO NOT CLAIM TO OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF HIS LIFE OR FRIENDS OR ANY OF THAT STUFF!_

**_I Can't Sing a Good Soprano_**

"_What did you do_?" she said, looking like she could kill us at the drop of a hat. She turned on me. "_You_ were supposed to be watching him Luna!"

"Of course I was. See, he just saved your lives, so I figured I would ignore it and hum cheerfully instead."

"You two come behind this bush- I'll explain."

He pulled us back, but before he could give the explanation to Hermione, a low growling was emitted from behind us.

"Tell me that's Fang," Hermione said, eyes wide with panic, frozen in place. "Oh, goodness, please oh _please_ let that be Fang."

I didn't think so. In fact, my first thought was that it was one of the evil gerbils which Viktor Krum had raised to defend his Quidditch team. But I was wrong. We turned slowly, to see a great, big pair of slanted yellow eyes watching us, glowing almost. It was a wolf, almost taller than me, and that was on all fours. He had gleaming grey fur, and was snarling enough to evoke fear in the heart of the bravest Auror in the army of Minister Fudge.

Nobody will ever, ever understand just how much willpower it took for me not to ask, "And why do you have such big teeth, Granny?" Of course, the inevitable answer would have been, "All the better to eat you with," and something told me that this animal would probably demonstrate, rather than speak. Because werewolves can't talk, and that's what this was, obviously- a werewolf. And not just any werewolf, as I'm quite sure you know. It was Professor Lupin.

He was watching us like a cat with mice, and we had virtually no time. So I did the first thing I could think of.

"Professor Lupin, I won't be able to turn in that essay on defensive jinxes until Monday, I can't find the book- you won't deduct any points, will you?"

His attention was pulled away from Harry and Hermione, who were gaping at me. I nudged Hermione, who in turn nudged Harry, and they began shuffling away, slowly, while I distracted Professor Lupin. I didn't have my wand with me, and Lupin would probably kill us before we could cast a spell anyways.

He stared at me, sniffing the air, growling still. "M- I- C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E! Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse!" Da had once told me that animals are soothed- or calmed- by music, so it was worth a try. I took a step opposite from Harry and Hermione, who were slowly shuffling around the side to Hagrid's front door. Professor Lupin turned toward me, his growling quieter.

I sucked in breath. "Professor Lupin, you're really the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher I've had yet- course, the only other one was Professor Lockhart, and he was a true imbecile. But truly, you're especially good. Okay, now I don't want to hurt you, but if music is the only thing that can entertain or distract you, you are going to have to endure my horrible soprano."

It was so strange- I wasn't afraid, for some reason. I don't usually get scared, to be honest. Nothing to be afraid of, in the big picture. I wondered silently what the big picture was. Perhaps it was a smock of sorts, which would explain the hidden messages about smocks.

I was slowly shuffling around the side of the house. Harry and Hermione had already vanished, so I could only hope with all my heart that they had gotten into the cabin.

"In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came. That voice which calls to me, and speaks my name, and do I dream again? For now I find, the Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind!"

Professor Lupin gave a slight whimper as I hit the high note. "Sorry, Professor. It's a splendid song though, just not when I'm singing it. Oh, have you heard that new release by the Weird Sisters? Madame Pomfrey sings it, I think- I'll have to explain when you're feeling more sociable." Stepping backward some more, I calmly began my recital."

"_I am the witch! Yea, yea, yea! I am THE witch, uh, huh, huh, huh! And I cast my spell on yooouuuu_!"

I couldn't remember what the next bit was, so I switched to this song that the Sorting Hat had sung- part of it anyway, I'm not sure just how I remembered it.

"Oh, I'm a hat as you can see, and I search for quality. I pick your House, I choose your life, but between the Houses there be strife…. Uh…. Well, I'm not the Hat, but anyway, that's the song it sang this year, remember?"

I took a few steps backwards, rounding the corner onto Hagrid's front porch. "Fol-de-rol and fiddle-dee-dee fiddle-dee faddle- dee foodle, all the dreamers in all the world are dizzy in the noodle." I was almost there; just a few more steps! "It's from Cinderella, Professor-"

To this day, I don't know what caused it, whether it was my choice in song, the fact that I touched the door handle, or just some disturbing phenomenon, but for some reason, Professor Lupin suddenly pounced.

"_FOR THE LOVE OF LOCKHEART!_" Was the last thing I said as a normal human, as he leaped almost onto me, he sank his teeth into my leg, and I resisted the urge to shriek.

I could feel magic- powerful magic, slowly spawning out through my veins, through my blood. I didn't feel too much pain; the wave of magic was so strong. He released my leg, and jumped atop me, about to eat me. Had it happened, my last thought would have been how sorry I was to leave Da all alone, and Professor Lupin with so much guilt.

But it didn't happen, because the door, which I was partially leaning against, boomed open. There stood Harry, wand in his hand.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!_" he yelled- and for the second time in ten minutes too.

The silver stag burst forth from his wand once again. Professor Lupin lost interest in me at once. He didn't even notice Harry. He stared longingly at the stag; he recognized it somehow. And he whimpered.

Professor Lupin and Harry's Patronus stared at each other for a moment, then Professor Lupin abruptly and silently fled into the forest. The Patronus walked over to me. It bowed its head, mournfully, then vanished.

Harry and Hermione rushed to my sides. The feeling of magic was still there, spreading through me. And then it hit me- I consciously realized what the magic was. It was the Curse of the Werewolf, passed on through the bite.

"Luna, _Luna_? Did he bite you?" Harry asked.

"Harry, she's bleeding!" Hermione exclaimed.

I struggled to sit up, trying to absorb the truth, and ignore the horrible pain in my left shin as well. "He bit me." I said. Hermione's hand clenched my shoulder painfully, and the other flew to her mouth.

"This is all my fault, Luna." Harry said quietly. "This never would have happened if I had helped you- or- or-"

I shook my head. "It isn't your fault Harry. It's my fault more than anybody's. Besides, it doesn't matter whose fault it is, okay? The only thing that matters right now is saving Sirius." They stared at me still. "I'm not going to transform tonight- next month. The magic is still spreading, actually, it kind of feels pleasant. Like I swallowed a Calming Drought. Yes, that's precisely what it feels like!"

"Err- right," Harry said. I smiled feebly. "Let's fetch Buckbeak and save your godfather Harry, isn't that why we came?"

He smiled, helped me up, and the three of us returned into the cabin to fetch Buckbeak, who had oddly fled back in at the sight of our werewolf professor, without us noticing. I was just thankful he hadn't flown off, because we were on a mission.


	4. The Attack of the Moose Men and The Grea...

**_The Attack of the Moose-Men and a Greasy Haired Banshee_**

_Disclaimer: No, you idiot, I don't own Harry Potter, and who are you to say I want to? What I really want to do is direct! __And now you know the rest of the story. Back to my disclaimer, I own nothing, not this computer, not the characters. But I do own Luna's thoughts, which doesn't really seem to be a good thing, as she's coming out like a total mad woman... I mean werewolf :)_

"Are you doing all right?" Harry asked me as he, Hermione, Buckbeak, and I hobbled out the door of Hagrid's cabin, me leaning heavily on Hermione. We had torn a piece of my already wrecked robe to form a tight bandage of sorts around my still bleeding and throbbing shin.

"Mmm hmmm. I'm fine. What about you two?" 

"Good," they said together.

I grinned. "Oh, and thank you for saving my life," I said. "That stag was more beautiful than the face of the moon." I stared at the moon suddenly. So this was it. She had marked me as her own. I thought about that. Yes, I was a werewolf, so what does that make me? A Moon-Minion? A Moonling? Mini-Moon?

"Hey, look! That- executioner man- Macnair- he's gone to get the dementors for Sirius!" Hermione said, breaking the silence.

"This is it!" Harry said. He turned to me. "Are you sure you're okay for this flight? Honestly, you're bleeding through the bandage!"

"If I don't come with you, I won't get back in time for Professor Dumbledore to lock me back in with you two- thus something amazingly awful will happen… Like maybe I'll never get to go back in time, or somehow it will tie up my self so that it will come to be that I never existed-"

Hermione gave me a rather pained look. "Luna, _please_ don't list the ways in which we could mess this up and cause our demise or something."

"Okay, but it would still be fun." I submitted. The possibilities _were_ wonderful though. It gives you a sort of power, and distraction, which was kind of what I most needed at that moment. Just try to imagine- with the ability to change the past, I could probably affect my birth to the point where _I_ was born a Crumple-Horned-Snorkack or a hippogriff. Or maybe I could make myself not be a werewolf? Ahh, don't dwell on negative things- you can't change it, so Lycanthropy is hereby declared a wondrous blessing by order of Luna Lovegood! Hey, maybe I could be like one of those Muggle super heroes with the capes, and swoop about saving people, and calling myself the Magically Magestical Moonling- Wolf-Woman!

I glanced at Harry realizing he had said something.

"Err, Luna, need help getting on?" He asked.

"Oh, no, I should be fine." I hopped over to Beaky and asked him if he would kindly let me on his back. He snorted and backed away from me. Had I been rude to him? No- no, surely not-

"I think he… he's afraid of you Luna. He- he can... sense... who-wh-what you are..." Hermione whispered nervously in my ear. "I hope not," I said, in as cheerful a way as I could muster. _Be happy, always something to be happy about… Like now, for instance. I'm here with my only friends. Well, they risked their lives for me anyway, and that's almost as good as being the discoverer of the Customized-Penmanship-Auto-Quill (you know, the ones that can be taught to swear.) Wait, wasn't I supposed to be having a moving realization that Harry and Hermione saved my life? Hmm, guess not. Let's get on Beaky now!_

I put my hand on Buckbeak's side, but he trundled to the side, away from me. He could sense the magic that my newfound curse was apparently radiating.

I turned to him. "Buckbeak. You are going to let me on your back right this instant," I said coldly. I was rather offended. I mean, seriously, a bloody cat with wings is judging _me_? Talk about hypocritical loons. I began to hum some morbid drinking song that the sixth years had been teaching everybody- Nice song, it's all about a lad who drinks so much Firewhiskey that he spontaneously turns into any one of the professors they feel like insulting- Usually Professor Snape. But they probably _do_ have a point there. It's like this- Professor Snape was a human once but- I mentally reached this part and stopped abruptly. Snape was a human. Snape was a human. And I wasn't.Well, so what- I'm cooler. And I bet if I cut my finger, I can use my blood for all sorts of cool potions. Yes, I will quite probably be the envy of potions students everywhere! I quickly dismissed this thought as unseemingly futile and swung myself onto Beaky's back.

He gave a few grunts of indignation, but remained mostly silent as Harry and Hermione clambered up in front of me.

"You two all ready?" Harry asked us. I latched my arms to Hermione's waist, and she did so to Harry. "Hold on tight-"

He nudged Beaky's side with his heels and we rocked off. It was a distinctly uncomfortable sensation, as though I was being gripped in the claws of a monstrous bird and whacked repeatedly against the force of the wind. Which was of course, exactly what we were doing. Except for the claws. That was just some clever description. Sort of.

"Oh- dear- I don't like this- I really don't like this at all-" Hermione kept muttering. I sighed as we smoothly glided toward the upper floors of the castle. Harry yanked around with Beaky's ropes, the said hippogriff hardly seeming to notice our weight. We counted the windows as they shot fast, and then-

"Woah!" said Harry, stopping Buckbeak, though he (Beaky, not Harry. Harry hasn't got wings that I know of… hmmm, I bet he does and hasn't told us. Yes, that's it! And that's how he's so good with flying on things- broomsticks and hippogriffs. Now I only wonder where he _got_ them…. Oh, I bet he simply grew them himself… or, no… HARRY POTTER IS HALF HIPPOGRIFF! Oh, wait until _The Quibbler_ gets a load of this one!) continued to beat his wings to remain airborne.

"He's there!" Harry pointed at the dim silhouette of Sirius Black. Harry struggled to open it, but the window just refused to give.

"Stand back!" Hermione called to Black, pulling out her wand. I wondered briefly what her wand was made of. _My_ wand had been in my Mum's family for ages, and it almost had the same properties as Da's wand. 11 inches, with the feather of a griffin in it. Course, it was more than that. See, when the wand was made, the feather was immersed in the venom of a basilisk for twenty-four hours, and that somehow made it super powerful. I never found out what wood it was- never really cared. Anyway- I was betting Hermione's would have either dragon heartstring or a unicorn hair- what do I know though.

"_Alohomora_!" Hermione cried, and the window sprang open.

"How-how-?" Black said in a weak voice, staring at us, shocked. I couldn't blame him. If I was in his position, I would have just assumed it was all madness and not worth bothering with. But I would have bothered with it anyway, because all things are interesting, when not told from the voice of Professor Binns.

"Get on- there's not much time," Harry said, holding Buckbeak steady. Black slipped through the window and pulled himself on behind me.

"You've got to get out of here- the dementors are coming- Macnair's gone to get them."

"Please take us up to that tower Beaky dear. I don't frankly care if you don't like me. If you let Harry or Hermione get hurt Hagrid'll never forgive you."

Beaky began flying, and snorted a lot, displaying his immense dislike of me. Pity, really, he was such a nice hippogriff. A little bigoted against werewolves but- I couldn't really blame him. He swept his wings through the air once and we were there. We landed with a sort of crash. Harry and Hermione slid down at once, and grasped my waist and helped me get down without making my leg much worse than it already was. The pain flared up again as I found myself leaning on it, and I bit back a whimper and smiled.

"What's your middle name?" I asked Black. "Err, Orion." He he said, suprised, as though wondering why the spider monkey I would care what his middle name was..

"That's quite pleasant. Like the stars." I said vaguely. Well, I guess if it matters at all, I sort of say_ everything_ in that sort of tone. It's just my natural tone. It makes me sound daft, I think. Oh, well, I haven't got the best voice, as Professor Lupin had learned.

I breathed in sharply. Professor Lupin. He was going to hate himself. Well… I could hope I was wrong, anyway. Maybe it wasn't Professor Lupin, I thought hopefully. Dung, of course it is, I chided myself.

"Sirius, you'd better go, quick. They'll reach Flitwick's office any moment, they'll find out you're gone." Harry panted. Poor thing, all out of breath.

"What happened to the other boy? Ron?" Sirius Orion said in a creaky voice. I immediately decided that I never wished to hear him sing the Phantom of the Opera.

"He's in the hospital wing, he'll be better by tomorrow, I bet." I said idly. Sirius Orion seemed to really notice me for the first time.

"What happened to you?"

"I made Professor Lupin listen to my singing, and he didn't enjoy it as much as I did."

"You mean-"

"Sirius, you have to go!" Harry said.

"How can I ever thank-"

"GO!" Harry and Hermione shouted as one. "Live long and prosper, Sirius Orion," I said, quoting that Muggle T.V. show that one of my cousins was so obsessed with.

Sirius Orion Black gave me a strange, almost pitying look, and I bristled. I didn't want pity, and I didn't need it- there are worse off people. He, himself, for one. He shifted to gaze at Harry, while wheeling Beaky around.

"We'll see each other again," he said to Harry. "You are- truly your father's son, Harry."

I deeply wished for a camera, this was truly a Kimirac moment, or whatever that Muggle commercial is. It was so pretty, I almost cried from the sheer beauty of that scene. It was truly moving. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. I sniffed. Sirius took off into the sky, and Harry, hearing my snuffling, glanced at me, and I could almost suppose he thought me mad. Well, him and the rest of the narrow-minded universe.

"Harry! Luna!" Hermione said. "We've got exactly ten minutes to get back down to the hospital wing without anybody seeing us- before Dumbledore locks the door-"

"Hmm, that rhymed. Dumbledore-Door." I observed. Harry shook his head. "Let's go. Lean on me, Luna."

I leaned heavily on Harry's shoulder, hopping along with them as quietly as I could. The three of us snuck through the doorway behind them and encountered a long, tightly spiraling staircase. I put an arm around Harry and Hermione's shoulders, and we got down as quickly and stealthily as I could. We must have looked like awesome secret agents, and that Muggle part of me that seems to so enjoy Broadway productions was silently yearning to hex someone, blow on the edge of the wand and say, "Lovegood. Luna Lovegood. I like my martinis stirred, not shaken." Or something. It would fit so perfectly. But something told me that if I chose such a course of action, Hermione would quite possibly murder me. Poor dear, she was so stressed.

We finally reached the bottom of the staircase, only to hear voices. We flattened ourselves against the wall and listened carefully. Fudge and Snape. Again. Don't they have _anything _better to do? Skiing? Teaching dementors to waltz? This was getting sad. Oh, they were going to be simply crushed when they learned of Sirius Orion's escape.

"…only hope Dumbledore's not going to make difficulties. The Kiss will be performed immediately?" Snape was saying. That man was seriously disturbed.

"As soon as Macnair returns with the dementors. This whole Black affair has been highly embarrassing. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to informing the _Daily Prophet_ that we've got him at last…."

I didn't pay much attention to the rest of what he said. I was silently fuming. The _Daily Prophet_! That horrible, useless, biased, idiotic paper! Oh, how I despised that name. It was _The Quibbler_'s competition, and it was such a stupid paper. They were completely biased against, like, everybody at some point, and they leaned on Fudge's word so much that they were completely unreliable as a source of information. At least _The Quibbler_ publishes important things that the public truly needs to know, not just articles expressing the wonder that is Cornelius Fudge.

The Dumb Duo passed by us; we could see Snape smirking with unrepressed, malintended, joy.

We waited a minute, to be sure they had left, then took off again. This time, Harry just plain carried me. I threw my arms around his neck, silently expressing thanks for being thin, and for Harry having upper-arm strength. It was rather nice actually. With him carrying me, I was able to imagine that I was some sort of beautiful heroine in a classical romance novel, and now my prince was rescuing me. "Ah, the wonder that is an imagination". Yes, another quote straight from Da.

Down a staircase, up a corridor, through another- then we heard this completely wicked cackling.

"_Peeves_!" Harry muttered. "In here!" And he lumbered into an abandoned classroom, putting me down so he could rest, and softly shutting the door just in time, as Peeves came bouncing down corridor.

Peeves. Now that's a funny name. He floats about calling me "Looney, Loco, Luna" all the time, but he has a name like _Peeves_. Really. Hmmm, funny nicknames for him. "Pitiful Pisshead Peeves"? "Prowling, Pathetic, Peeves"? "Peeves the Pig"? "Peeves the Porcine Prat"? No, nothing can actually be used to describe him but "Peeves the Poltergeist". Pity.

I think Peeves is in love with Mrs. Norris. It's quite logical, to be honest. It surely explains his unending hatred for Mr. Filch. See, Mr. Filch married Mistress Norris before Peeves ever came into the picture, but- alas! The moment Peeves saw that demonic feline, his cold, prankster's heart just broke with flowing passion for her. But he was too late. Mrs. Norris was the wife of the ever-vigilant Argus Filch, and nothing could remedy the situation. So the lonely Peeves took up a life of a hooligan poltergeist, his sole purpose in life- or limbo, or whatever he's got- being to win Mrs. Norris over.

I feel for him in this sad tale, and so I don't get too upset when he calls me names, because I know that deep down, he is just a broken spirit, consumed by his love for a cat, and dying for love unrequited.

I can only sit here and wonder why these people are so in love with a bloody cat.

"Oh, he's horrible," Hermione was saying. "I bet he's all excited because the dementors are going to finish off Sirius… Three minutes!"

We waited until Peeves's gloating voice had faded away; then Harry swung me up into his arms again, and we sped down the hall. We said nothing, knowing that if we didn't get back in time, we were probably doomed. Or something like that.

"One minute!" Hermione moaned, checking her watch as we went. We hurried to the end of the corridor with the hospital wing entrance. "Okay- I can hear Dumbledore, come on!"

We crept along the corridor. The door opened and Dumbledore's back appeared. I briefly wondered why he always wore the blue robes. I mean, nothing wrong with a little color variation sometimes.

"I'm going to lock you in. It is five minutes to midnight. Miss Granger, three turns should do it. Good luck." Said Dumbledore, backing out of the room and closing the door. We panicked and ran forward, Harry starting to strain from my weight.

We reached the headmaster, and Harry put me down carefully, trying not to ram my foot onto the floor or something.

Dumbledore eyebrows rose at the sight of me, but he gave us a small smile. "Well? How did this happen?"

"It's a very long story, but we did it! Sirius is gone, on Buckbeak…."

Dumbledore beamed at us.

"Well done. I think-" He listened intently for any sound within the room. We could distantly hear my voice: _"Don't…. Mum… Time-Turner…."_

I could feel myself blushing. There was now silence in the wing. Yes, I think you've gone too- get inside- I'll lock you in- I'll be back later for details, if you please." We slipped back into the dormitory. It was empty except for Ron, who was still unconscious, though that could be expected, since only a minute had really passed since we had left. Ironic really. Lives can change in less than a moment. Weren't we living proof?

I crept-hopped back to my bed, and snuggled inside, knowing I would have to go back to the sideline audience until Dumbledore returned. Suddenly the thought occurred to me- what if he made me leave Hogwarts! I doubted he would- he had allowed Professor Lupin to stay, but well… look what that had gotten him. Poor Professor Lupin… oh, guilt be a monster of many guises.

It wasn't his fault…. But I somehow knew he would think it was.

Harry and Hermione crept back to their respective beds, Hermione tucking the time turner under her robes. Not more than a moment later, Madame Pomfrey came stomping back out of her office.

"Did I hear the headmaster leaving? Am I allowed to look after my patients now?" 

She struck me as being about as cheerful as an aggravated acromantula. Just because she is hung over from that big Weird Sisters concert last night, doesn't mean she has to take it out on we the students. She still did not notice my unimportant presence within the realms of her most wondrous wing, but, like I've said, I didn't mind much. I watched Harry and Hermione eating their chocolate, not that they needed at this point. They would just get hyper and be up all night. Wouldn't that be fun? "PARTAY IN THE HOSPITAL WING!" And Madame P. could guest star! Madame P…. Nice name for her. Spiffy, no?

Anyhoo, Harry and Herms kept eating their rich, sugary delicacies, and shooting glances at Ronald and me. After several minutes of this uneventful silence, we heard this utter howl come from someplace above us. No, it wasn't a howl; it was more of a bellowing roar. My first thought was that somebody had let an enraged, psycho moose into the castle, and my mind sped through a list of reasons as to _why_ somebody would let a moose run rampant in Hogwarts. I then wondered why a goose in plural is _geese_ and why multiple moose shouldn't be _meese_.

Then I remembered that we had just sent Sirius Orion Black away to freedom, on the back of a gallant steed, and that was going to seriously piss someone off. Sirius… Siriusly…. Hahahahaha. I actually laughed aloud, and Harry and Hermie shot me a look. Madame Pomfrey on the other hand, just stared above and asked, "What was that?"

I was quite tempted to tell her of the evil rampaging meese. The noise of the seriously pissed off people- or meese- was growling louder, and venturing closer to the door of the hospital wing.

"Really- they'll wake everybody up! What do they think they're doing?" 

If I hadn't felt like keeping quiet as to avoid attracting any attention to my still throbbing and bleeding leg, I would have informed her that these were Moose-Men, and could therefore not prevent themselves from randomly bellowing sometimes. The Meese seemed to be coming closer, because we could actually make out coherent words, which were probably issuing from Moose Fudge.

"He must have Dissapparated, Severus. We should have left somebody in the room with him. When this gets out-"

"HE DIDN'T DISAPPARATE!" Moose Snape roared, his voice seemingly getting closer. I decided that perhaps he wasn't a moose, but some sort of… heliopath… no, Severus Snape was a banshee, nothing more nothing less… wait- yes, something more…. A super magnified banshee! "The Banshee With the Voice of a Thousand Fingernails Raking Ruthlessly Across a Blackboard" at that! I dismissed that particular description, however, because it mostly sounded as though I was describing myself.

"YOU CAN'T APPARATE _OR _DISAPPARATE INSIDE THIS CASTLE! THIS-HAS-SOMETHING-TO-DO-WITH-POTTER!"

"Severus- be reasonable- Harry has been locked up-"

BAM! 

As the door burst open, that magic I had been feeling- you know, like a Calming Draught- returned, but slightly stronger. Harry was watching the door fixedly, but Hermione glanced my way briefly, and saw me staring at the wall, rigid and shaking. I tried to keep my mind on the yelling, and the figures who were now intruding into the wing. The feeling was making me feel slightly lightheaded and dizzy. To put it bluntly, I felt kinda drunk. But not in a good way. More of an "Oh, Boggart, I Seem To Have Been Bitten By A Werewolf Who Is Going To Feel Insanely Guilty For Cursing Me In The Morning Even Though It Wasn't His Fault, And Anyway, The Curse Is Making Me Feel Drunk, Not In A Good Way, But In The Kind of "Oh, Boggart, I Seem…."" way.

That statement was rather pointless, I suppose, but you at least have a generalized idea of how I was feeling physically. Oddly, I was mentally fine, though my peers and mentors might disagree with me on that point. But, see, I wasn't freaked out that I was a werewolf. I really wasn't in any position to feel anything about it until the first full moon or something. I didn't mind it though. It made me feel… whole…. and drunk, but you knew that already.

Hermione looked at me, concerned. Before I could acknowledge her look, or feel immense gratitude that somebody other than my father actually cared about me, both of us found our attention captured by Snape and his deranged antics of an angered banshee.

"OUT WITH IT POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO?" 

Now, I am well aware that I should have remained silent, but his yell made my head start to throb, and at that second, my ears began to sting. I wasn't sure why, so I reached up and touched the radish earrings which hung from my ears with a silver base. And then my hands began to sting. I hurriedly pulled the earrings from my ears and stuck my fingers in my mouth, sucking on them, and massaging my ears, which felt almost worse than my leg (odd, no?) with my other hand. What had happened? Surely…. Oh, dear… Oh, dear… I was allergic to silver. Because of the werewolf thing.

Everybody stared at me- Snape, Fudge, Dumbledore, Harry and Herms, and Madame P. I wasn't about to tell them _why_ my ears felt like burning irons, though by her look, and the way her hands flew to her mouth, Hermione guessed.

"And what are you doing here?" Fudge asked, as though I wasn't allowed to be here.

"I injured my arm, and then I injured my leg, Moo- Minister." I said, catching myself. And hey, I wasn't lying.

Snape looked furious that I was interrupting his serenade of eternal hatred for Sirius Black and Harry Potter. Or maybe he was just furious. When life makes you a banshee moose man, it might be hard to crack a smile.

Since they had finally decided to notice me, I figured I would add to this most lovely scenario.

"Harry and Hermione have been here since before I came in, so they couldn't have done anything, Professor." Feigning ignorance, I asked "Sirius Black escaped!", adopting a horrified and appalled expression.

None of them answered me, and Fudge cast a disdainful look at my leg, which was thankfully hidden beneath the sheets.

"What happened to your leg?"

"I got bit."

"What by?"

Under no circumstances was I going to say "Oh, a werewolf- my favorite professor by the way." To the bigoted, goblin-eating, jerk that was the Moose of Magic. Suddenly, I received inspiration from something that Harry and Hermione had told me earlier.

"Some big black dog, sir. I sort of snuck out to Hagrid's to see if he had any pumpkins in the patch- I wanted to steal one, but this great, huge black dog that looked like death itself leapt on me and bit me in the leg before I could ward him off."

This seemed logical as anything. And this way, were they ever to catch wind of Sirius Black's Animagus shape, they would think that he had mauled me. Then again, in actuality, I wasn't mauled- what is the definition of MAUL anyway? Wait, who really cared. The only things mauled were my ears, and that was only because I had lacked the foresight to wake up this morning and consider the possibility that I could get hurtled back in time and become a werewolf during the course of the day. So, that was my fault, but if Sirius Black wanted the credit for causing the stinging ears, then he could have it; I wasn't going to copyright it as my doing and mine alone. I'd be glad to share.

Professor McGonagall once told me that if I spent as much time deeply considering the existence of my homework, then I would be achieving a higher grade in her class.

She got mad at me because I replied, quite honestly, that I often pondered the existence of my homework, and yet still could not find the purpose for it.

She had not been amused.

Back to my most wondrous and beautiful story, right? Snape-The-Banshee cast a kind of unreadable glance in my direction, glanced at my blistering hand, my probably blistering ears, and the jewelry, which glared threateningly at me from the nightstand, and gave a sort of nasty grin. And I do mean nasty. If looks could kill, then I would have been lying in a hospital wing, looking like an animal mauled me. Hmm, funny thing…

"It was Potter." He said curtly, and strode from the hospital wing, giving off an aura of pure malice.

"Fellow seems quite unbalance. I'd watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore.

"Oh, he's not unbalanced. He's just suffered a severe disappointment." Said our glorious headmaster quietly.

I sort of tuned out the rest of the conversation; the waves of magic had returned. I began to sweat, and twitch violently. I wasn't going to transform- not tonight. Something told me that. But it felt as though I was. The hair on my arms seemed bigger, and everything everyone said seemed ten times louder, like I was standing next to a loud spoken person with the _Sonorous_ spell on them.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It brought me back. A potion of sorts was poured down my throat, and the world slowly stopped spinning, and the fired-up feeling that had overtaken me had stopped.

I looked around. Harry and Herms were beside my bed now, heedless of whatever Madame Pomfrey might have said. Professor Dumbledore had his hand on my shoulder, and removed it only when I looked around. Madame Pomfrey laid a hand upon my forehead, taking my temperature.

"Miss Lovegood, could you please explain what just happened?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

I didn't want to tell him. Professor Lupin would get in trouble. I would quite possibly get in trouble too, I thought.

Harry prodded me gently in the shoulder.

"You can tell him, Luna."

I stared at him for a moment; he was giving me a really funny look and I couldn't figure out why. Before I could ask, Hermione answered.

"Your eyes are… err…. yellow." She said. I gave a sort of deranged smile. "That's awesome!" 

Harry and Hermione settled for giving me funny looks, while Dumbledore repeated his question: "Miss Lovegood…?"

I sighed deeply. Oh, how I wanted to go outside, into the forest, and run. Run and bite and claw. _WHAT THE DEUCE AM I THINKING?_

"Well… It's rather complicated, but I sort of got myself bit by Professor Lupin."

Madame Pomfrey gasped and squeezed my shoulder tightly.

"But it really wasn't Lupin's fault, and if anybody ever finds out and asks me how it happened, I'll tell them it was a feral!"

Dumbledore looked grim. That ever-persistent twinkle in his eyes was still there, but thoroughly diminished, like a candle under a snuffer. I like snuffers. I once got one for my birthday, and I spent a month just walking around with it in my belt, pretending to be part of some super-secret branch of the Ministry that exists solely to snuff candles. I only ever stopped when some whacky old lady called me a fraud and a dirty liar, and said that I was no better than the bitch that whelped me.

If I remember correctly, this was my first case of accidental magic, and the time when we found out that I did, indeed, carry magical blood. Because shortly thereafter the aforementioned woman suddenly lost the ability to speak, and turned a rather alarming shade of purple or magenta, depending on how you looked at her.

I still have the picture hanging in my dormitory, right next to the autographed picture of the American president- Elvis Presley.

But you wanted to know about Dumbledore, didn't you?

"Miss Lovegood," he said. "We are going to give you a sleeping potion now, lest you repeat that last episode again. We will speak of this in the morning, when Professor Lupin is present."

I visibly gulped, and that was before I had gulped the potion and fallen asleep.

Apparently, I gulp just like a fish, and twice as often.

_THE NOTES IF THE AUTHOR:  
Ah, there's another chapter through with. I had to do this chapter- I didn't really want to, but something tells me that it would have looked freakishly stupid to just say "Sirius escaped and Dumbledore drugged me. And the dude who escaped has the middle name Orion. Thus he is an SOB. But anyway, this was just like, a nescessary chapter, and I've got some sawwweeeet plans for the future. Thanks for reading, I love my 7 reviews very much, and if I met the reviewers, I would hug them soooo much that they would pass out. Speaking of which, reviewers, I'll write you all lil' notes in the next chapter declaring how much I love you. Reviews are inspirational! AND I AM RAMBLING!_


	5. A Lycan In Labor on a Guilt Trip

Authors notes: Muggle Buddy: I adore you, thanks for reviewing, you and Eizoku at the beginning were thu reason I updated at all ) Eizoku: Thanks for the song comment and the encouragement, I was performing Cinderella when I wrote that chapter…. I don't like it much more than the Wolf of Remusness does Casadarn: I tried to make the Remus' reaction live up to any of your hopes (if you had any), but I don't think I'm great at conflict reactions of shock and horror…. Any advice from anyone helps ) Windborn: Thank you for the comfort as far as characterizations go deep breath lol. Delta74:Yes, she isn't dotty, she's abstract….. ignore that statement, I am confusing myself. Somebody: Thank you! Willowfeathers: Sorry it took so long to update….. Cherokee girl: Thanks, I'm trying to get this all right, but feh…. Rumpletease: They're my fav stories too…. Actually, I am a Crumple Horned Snorkack. I just wear a lot of makeup. Sarahcoldheart: I hope to do that as well, Ma'am. 

_Ya'll: I had trouble with this chapter; I am sorry to say I may not have done the randomness as well as I'd hoped, and conflicting revelations are my big difficulty…. And I do apologize for not updating in so long…. I hate people like me. Lol, please review, and I will try to update as soon as lycanly possible._

**_A Lycan in Labor on a Guilt Trip_**

I willed my eyes open and sat up. As opposed to down, or something.

I was in the hospital wing. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley were asleep in the beds on my right. And I was in here too. Why was this, I wondered.

Oh, right. The Sirius Orion Black thing. And then me getting bit by Professor Lupin. Ah, yes, that's probably why I was in there. Unless this was really an asylum, and someone had followed up on Professor Snape's frequent requests that I be placed in a looney bin- wait, maybe I was just imagining all of this under the influence of St. Mungo's magic drugs! Or perhaps not.

I lay back on my pillows. It was really quiet. Everyone else was asleep and there was no sound in the room- except for Ronald's snoring.

Weak rays of sunlight were filtering through the windows. For what reason are they weak in the morning? Most people, you see, will yatter on and on about how the light hits the earth and the atmosphere and junk like that- but I have secretly entitled these theories "MUGGLE IDIOTIC COFFEE" for no real reason, but it seemed to fit. Anyway, I am of the belief that the sun is a living thing and the fact that it gets woken up before everyone else, every morning, must really suck.

Course, I am allowed to hate the sun because Captain Sun often outshines the moon. One time I just stood on a roof shouting at the sun for being a self-centered, egotistical fool, and that if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that it had has plastic surgery.

No real response to that.

It was really quiet, and as lovely as watching the sun awaken is, it did not entertain me too terribly much. Suddenly- oh no, is this a disease? Like, MuggleMusicItis! Why is it that every time I find an opening I want to sing muggle music? And this seemed- to me- to be such an 'Oklahoma' moment. I really wanted to sing. But then I would wake everyone up and they'd probably be mad at me, if they aren't all ready.

I began to mentally screech the song out in the perfect harmonization with Ronald's snores.

_Oh, what a beautiful _SNORE_ing! Oh, what a beautiful _SNORE_! I've got a wonderful _SNORE_ing, everything's going my _SNORE

Better than the Weird Sisters and Madame Pomfrey's rock band put together, right?

Why do I always sing Muggle music, no matter what the situation? _Is_ it a rare disease? It's rather odd. I could truly think of no logical explanation, but hey, who wants or needs logic. Albus Dumbledore doesn't and thus I shouldn't either.

I glanced warily down at the night table beside me. My earrings were still there, smirking malevolently, just waiting for the moment to strike, with its pretty silver lining, and innocent little radishes…. Ohhhhh, I'll kill those earrings!

I reached beside them and picked up Harry's chocolate wrapper. Here was my chance to make history. Will the wrapper build a home on my nose? Or will it shun me and make me cry? I picked up the wrapper and perched it curiously on my nose. It stayed for a moment, swaying precariously, but when I exhaled, it fluttered into my lap.

I glanced down at the end of the ward. Madame Pomfrey was probably in her little office. Or at a concert. I wondered what she did there. Just sing, or did she write as well?

I jumped slightly, hearing a rustling noise behind me. I turned and saw that Professor Lupin had been lying there, asleep, but he was sort of awake now. Like a disgruntled mummy, but without the fashionable wraps.

I smiled hazily, wondering if he remembered anything. Oh dear, what if he remembered my singing? That could be rather traumatic. And what if he remembered biting me? I began to feel slightly nervous.

"Good morning, Professor."

He looked startled; obviously he hadn't noticed me. Hmmmmm, that sounds oddly familiar. Really, when was the last time somebody noticed me without me doing something drastic, like getting hurled back in time or cursed with lycanthropy? Rather depressing. Oh well. Back to Lupin.

"Hello…." He cast about for my name. "Luna,"

HUZZAH! 1 POINT TO LOVEGOOD FOR BEING REMEMBERED! 2 POINTS TO LUPIN FOR ACTUALLY REMEMBERING!

Suddenly he looked stricken.

"Did anything happen- last night, after-"

He seemed to realize whom he was talking to and stopped abruptly.

"After you transformed?"

He gave me a sort of wary look. "How do you know?"

I had half a mind to say "BECAUSE I AM THE ALL KNOWING ORACLE! BOW DOWN UNTO ME!" but that wouldn't have gone over so well, and it would have interrupted the corny sappiness of it all.

"Uh…. Harry and Hermione told me… and it's truly a very long story."

Aye, longer then Maiden Rapunzel's gorgeous locks.

The disturbed look returned. "What happened to Sirius- do you know about all that?"

I nodded. "Harry and Hermione went back in time to change some events and I got sucked back with them."

He opened his mouth, probably to ask about Pettigrew, but I interrupted, rude though it is to contradict your elders.

"We sent Sirius Orion off on that hippogriff Hagrid got in trouble about. Pettigrew still got away when… Well, yes, he's far gone."

He sighed heavily.

"Did- did I hurt anyone? Because, I know I don't remember eating anything… but I was chained to Ron and Wo- Pettigrew…"

"We're all fine." I felt bad about lying, but then, it wasn't _really_ a lie. Harry and Hermione and Ron were just asleep, and I wasn't really _hurt_. I just wanted to save him a big guilt trip, right? We can't all be insensitive prats. Hmm, I bet if we _were_ then our noses would all grow really long, and take the place of our arms…. Like Pinocchio…. But with wands.

"Then why are you in the hospital wing?" he inquired, undeterred.

"We, uh, ran into some dementors, and a hippogriff, and you, and Peeves, and Snape-"

I couldn't bring myself to leave out that we had run into him. It would be stupid…. And he would find out eventually. In fact, he might be arrested…. So I added his name in quickly- hopefully he wouldn't notice. But alas, we are not all as stupid as Cho Chang, that dum broad who keeps insisting that the Ministry tries to 'help' us. I am officially a magical anarchist….

"And I bet if I could remember clearer, I could tell you that we ran into a Sprofiliach, which is this North American creature positively _obsessed_ with urinals. I wonder how it got here, Professor."

"Luna-" he raised a hand to pause my rambling. No- not rambling, descriptive- speech.

"Did you say you ran into me?" he stared at me with his amber eyes. OH. Dung. His eyes widened as he stared at my own eyes, which I could only assume had remained yellow.

"Di- Did- Did I bite you?"

I said nothing (for once) (shut up, are you calling me a loud mouth) (yes) (why you little- what the deuce, am I talking to myself?) (yes you are, loser) (blimey….). I couldn't bear to tell him. I hate, hate, hate, HATE, having people feel guilty because of me. And it wasn't his fault. Oh, this was just like the time when a wasp landed on my head at the bakery, and the baker clouted me with a rolling pin trying to get it. Thus, I got stung and whacked, and for a few minutes there thought I was a teapot named Marian. Thus the baker tried to make me feel better by giving me a free cake. I never blamed him though, and I gave the cake to this man outside in a big coat who looked happy and kept talking about how the sky is actually violet, but we just didn't notice. I fully agreed with that ingenious assessment.

At that very moment, the door swung open, as Professor Dumbledore strode into the room, disturbed eye twinkle and all. He smiled wearily.

"Good morning Miss Lovegood- Ah, and Professor Lupin! How good to see you. How do you two feel?"

"Reasonably well," I said. "My leg doesn't hurt or anything. I bet I could chop it off and not feel a thing!" I speculated.

"Let's not attempt to find out- I think your leg has had enough for the time being." He said dryly.

"Luna," Lupin said again. When I just stared unresponsively back at him, not blinking, but looking very apologetic, he turned to Professor Dumbledore.

"Please, tell me," he implored. I stared at the ground for a moment, trying to keep my mind on the subject, and not on the very colorful wrapper on the tile. I took a deep breath. Not like it was a big deal or anything. No, not at all.

"I've got lycanthropy," I said in a conversational tone. You know, conversational tones always shift the mood to something pleasant. In my limited experience, I suppose.

"Oh, God," Lupin said quietly- he sounded really calm, and I was getting this 'calm before the storm' vibe from him. Oh, dear. Wonder how I look with yellow eyes. Has to be more interesting then the pale irises which had always been mine in the past. Perhaps I could make my hair turn an interesting color as well.

Lupin started hyperventilating, and Dumbledore placed a secure hand on his shoulders. "Calm-down, Remus. It's going to be all right."

Lupin shook his head. I stifled a giggle. He sounded like a woman going into labor…. Disgusting, does that make Dumbledore the father? Ech. "T-t-t-take me to the Ministry. I broke the Code of Conduct. I-I,"

"Oh, please don't go to the Ministry," I said. "We would miss you an awful lot." I nodded, as if to prove my point.

Dumbledore gave a half-smile. "I must say that my sentiments do rest with Miss Lovegood. It is not necessary to jump to any extremes. However, we cannot ignore the seriousness of this matter."

An idea occurred to me. "Professors, if I need to register at the Ministry-" a look from Dumbledore confirmed that I would indeed. What fun "-Well, I'll say it was a feral that bit me- that I was being silly and wandering through the Forbidden Forest, and that Professor Lupin was elsewhere."

"That will be highly complicated Miss Lovegood. Do you believe we can accomplish it?"

"Yes, sir."

He smiled, and began to construct a story for Lupin and I to follow. I had heard that Snape had run out into the woods from a fellow classmate who had been looking out the window, gotten curious, followed, found myself lost in the forest, cornered by a werewolf whom I distracted by singing until I performed a heroic leap into a tree, though still getting my shin bitten. The story for Lupin was that he had had an errand to perform for Dumbledore the previous day, and had found himself stranded in some random town Dumbledore chose. Then of course, the full moon came, and Lupin would have been forced to transform in a most conveniently placed basement at his current location, making it quite impossible that he was the one who bit me.

As Dumbledore told us these strange facts, Lupin remained in a sort of strained silence. Madame Pomfrey came in at the ending of this speech, muttered something, and returned to her office to compose rock music. I wondered if Dumbledore knew about her band. Ohhhh, he was probably the tight stockinged, mohawked drummer! Negative image…. But you know, if he wasn't, then it must be Professor Flitwick, and that means I have blackmail on at least two of my educational instructors. This is power at its greatest degree! Bah on Voldemort, and bah on Grimmelwauld (you know, that bloke Dumbledore conquered)- THIS IS POWER! MAUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

"Are you prepared to hold to this story, Miss Lovegood?"

"Yah," I said, wondering what color Dumbledore's hair had been when he was my age. Or Lupin's.

"Remus?" Asked Dumbledore carefully.

Professor Lupin stared at him, and then stared at me, one of his hands feebly rubbing the skin below his eye. "Your eyes," he whispered, suddenly gazing at the floor.

"Did they change color?" I asked nonchalantly. "Wouldn't that be interesting."

"Actually, they have taken on a rather vibrant shade of yellow."

"Really? That's pleasant."

Dumbledore looked at the both of us and sighed. "I've got to go now- Miss Lovegood, you shall be taken to the Ministry of Magic at a later time today."

"Okay."

He leaned over and quietly said something to Lupin, then walked from the room. I silently wondered what he had said.

I glanced at Lupin, who was slowly digging the nails on his thumb and pointer finger into the skin on his left hand. He didn't notice me. Had he gone insane? That would be rather fun. We would truly miss our professor, but just so long as he could still talk, he would probably discover some sort of sacred philosophy! Don't all psychos do that? Curious. Curious has been a very cool word, ever since Ollivander said it. Seriously, the first years, every year, spend the first couple months saying 'Curious' all the time. It's almost as funny as a talking papaya.

I sneezed, purely by accident, and Lupin's gaze shot up and at my face. He visibly paled, if that was possible with how pale he was, and his skin looked disturbingly white.

"Professor?" No answer. "Professor?"

"Why don't you hate me? How can you so simply accept the horror of this curse?" he suddenly demanded.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. It just seems rather inconsequential. The pain and suffering of one person- or two-" I acknowledged him. "Is minute and pointless when placed in the comparison of the world, or maybe just an exceptionally important person."

"That is what you fail to understand," Lupin said slowly, quietly. I felt like I was on a muggle soap opera- all of these people dramatically overreacting.

"_You aren't a person now_- neither am I. Y-you are a werewolf. You are placed in the beast division of the justice system. You are a danger to society. We are _monsters_. After the next full moon- then you will hate me."

I shook my head. "I doubt it. It's not your fault I got bitten. Anyway, I couldn't care less about the Ministry of Magic or their legal systems. I care about the upholding of law, but I've never seen the Ministry help much in that. Individuals do. The worst thing the Ministry can do is to kill the ones I love."

"They could kill you if you disobeyed them- and they will kill me."

Oddly, the thought of my own death didn't phase me, for I, Luna Lovegood, have other things to consider. Like how to hold up my strict vegetarianism if I try to eat people all the time….

"Professor?"

"I am going to tell them the truth- that it was me that bit you. And they will kill me for breaking the Code of Conduct."

"No, Professor you really oughtn't tell them."

"I have destroyed your life! Do you understand that? You are an eternal outcast society- all you will know is pain. Pain of being shunned and the pain of transforming! Welcome to hell. And I am sorry. I am so sorry…."

I swallowed. This was, well, slightly more frightening then being bitten in the first place. Not to say that all of this had not already occurred to me, I wasn't quite as stupid as Ronald Weasley (bless him)- but it just gave me a sort of hollowed out grief for what Professor Lupin must have suffered. What his sad life had been. Perhaps I could compose a musical in his honor! Yes, precisely, that's what I would do. I couldn't use the title 'Hairy Snout, Human Heart', that was indefinitely taken. Hmmmm, Lupin's Lamentations? Something to think on. And what awesome costumes it would need….

Giving an odd smile, I slid out of the bed and went over to Lupin's bed, picking up his hand. Poor man.

"But you'll stand by me, right, Professor? I won't ever be a complete outcast- nor will you. Not as long as there are other twelve year old Ravenclaw girls, and young werewolves, and old werewolves, and circus clowns, and talented muggles!"

Professor Lupin's face relaxed slightly (though still looking painfully stressed) , and he gave a wan grin. "Yes, I will stand by you." He said slowly, haltingly. This was so dramatic. " Though never will it atone for what I've done."

What is it with Gryffindors and 'atoning'? Strange people….


End file.
